Many of us are wondering just how we’re going to cope with social distancing to have an indefinite period of time while the COVID-19 virus runs its course. We all know that the best things we are able to do, for our own health and the health of our communities, are to practice good hygiene and to stay home as much as possible. Avoiding unnecessary connection with other people will help slow multiplication of the virus and save lives. However it can involve some health risks of their own, like social isolation.
“It’s very predictable that people are going to feel more socially isolated when they’re socially distanced,” says Valerie Reyna, PhD, a psychologist who studies risk and decision-making at Cornell University. “That simply goes with the territory. And lots of research has shown that connection to others is so important for mental health insurance and for physical health.”
So how can you protect your sanity when most of the usual tools for dealing with stress — like getting together with friends or going to the gym — aren’t on the list of options? Having a good self-care technique is key. Here are some things you can do from home:
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Connect.
This is the time to use all our available tools to stay connected to each other in the absence of physical get-togethers. And the most obvious way to stay connected under these conditions is by using social media.
“We live in a wonderful age of technology,” Reyna says. “For all the problems that social media and other technology create, they also create opportunities to connect to other people, and we’re now trying to take advantage of that.”
We can use social platforms to determine how people are doing, to share encouraging news, to invite friends to virtual chats or online hangout groups. They can help keep us in the know about what’s happening in our local communities and how we can help out.
The drawback of social media is that these forums may also quickly become sources of stressful news when we linger there too long. Making this also an excellent time to dust off old ways of connecting, such as the personal phone call. Hearing the voices in our friends and loved ones — or seeing actual faces, with FaceTime — goes even more toward offsetting feelings of isolation.
And if you wish to get really old school, use some cards or paper and begin writing notes to your family and friends. They don’t have to be poetry; just a little thinking-of-you note will do. It’s a thoughtful method to pass something from hand to hand that reinforces our positive connection. (Once upon a time people misted their love letters with perfume. Today we might want to spritz ours after some hand sanitizer before dropping them in the mailbox.)
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Disconnect.
At least from the constant flow of news. Although it is critical to stay informed about the status of the viral spread, in addition to what our communities need from us in terms of social distancing and other behaviors for that public good, it is likely you could possibly get all the news you need within an hour a day or less. Check news sources each morning and evening, and then shut it down. Bathing in frightening information won't help the virus run its course any faster, and it will keep you in a chronically enervated suggest that can affect sleep patterns, mood, and general mental health. Use this time to foster positive emotions, thoughts, and connections as much as possible.
(For more on how and why growing positive emotions, check out this piece regarding how to awaken joy in stressful times.)
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Give your schedule.
While it might be tempting to abandon your alarm clock and regular mealtimes, maintaining a normal routine is actually key to supporting your mental and physical health. Regular sleep and wake times, in addition to regular mealtimes, help keep our body’s many “organ clocks” synchronized and operating at peak function. This means better digestion and better sleep quality, both of which are vital to maintaining a steady outlook and strong immunity in tough times. (Read more about circadian health here.)
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Be of service.
Although this outbreak is affecting all of us, we are not all equally affected. Be familiar with the elders and the homeless where you live. If you are still employed and also have the means to share, you can donate cash to the local food shelf, bring groceries for an elderly neighbor to leave on their doorstep, or buy a web-based gift card for your favorite restaurant or small company while they’re closed. Everyone has the power to lessen the negative impact of this period, and helping out is really a guaranteed spirit lifter. There’s research to back this up. One brain-imaging study offered participants $128 in cash and the chance to keep it all themselves or donate a lot of it to charity. In those who chose to donate, the brain’s pleasure center lit up like the Las Vegas strip. This pro-social phenomenon may also be called “helper’s high.”
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Keep moving.
Staying at home doesn’t have to mean sitting still. Plenty of studios and gyms are providing free online classes, both live and recorded. Body-weight exercises, backyard workouts, your own yoga practice . . . all are still available right now. So are long walks and hikes in nature. (Just keep at least six feet away from anyone you encounter to protect both of you.) Stick to your regular workout schedule if you can (see above for the worth of keeping a routine), and don’t be afraid to try new things to keep yourself engaged. Here are a few great virtual workout classes to try.
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Rest.
Most people in the United States are chronically underslept. Using the notable exception of those who are actually heroically working overtime to make sure we've healthcare, food, and other essential services, many of us have the chance to get more sleep than we normally do. Make the most. Sleep supports your defense mechanisms, mental health, and overall well-being in too many ways to count. Read more on the healing power of sleep here.
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Educate yourself.
There is a shocking amount of free education available virtually, and studying something interesting is really a far less stressful and more satisfying use of brainpower than reading exactly the same scary news articles again and again. The site Open Culture, for instance, offers free access to countless books, lectures, online classes — even museum coloring books whose pages you can print out and have a go at. On that note, you can also take a virtual tour of any number of world-class museums and gaze upon beautiful artworks for as long as you like. If you’re a reader, this is a great time to tackle the classics. (I just joined a virtual book group on Twitter to read War and Peace with the great writer Yiyun Li, if you’d prefer to join me.)
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Make art.
Is there an art form you abandoned when you began to work for a living? Do you have a guitar or perhaps an accordion gathering dust? How about a sewing machine or a set of paints? Maybe a book you’ve wanted to start (or finish) writing? If you’re at all creatively inclined, take advantage of the positive health results of getting into a state of “flow”: that blissful concentration that creative practices can provide. (Learn more about the benefits of flow states here.) And if you can take that guitar to the garage and really whale on it, a lot the better.
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Play games.
Card games, word games, games . . . in person or online. Games are an execllent way to foster connection with others and occupy your attention with something fun.
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Clean and declutter.
If you’ve been putting off cleaning out the garage or the basement or organizing your desk, now’s the time. It will make your parking space more comfortable and offer you a sense of accomplishment, which might be harder to find as we adjust to new or absent work schedules. For professional advice on how to clean out and remake your closet, office at home, laundry room, and more, see our “Order from Chaos” series.
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Slow down.
Stillness and self-reflection aren't exactly signature American pastimes, but we all benefit from knowing ourselves just a little better. Mindfulness reduces reactivity and increases resilience, that is essential to getting through difficult times together with your spirit intact. A meditation practice can be an excellent tool for this, since it helps you get to know your mind’s habitual stories in addition to ways to settle yourself down when those stories are running you. There are multiple online meditation classes and wisdom talks available on the web (see tarabrach.com for really good guidance on mindfulness practice). That said, if you’ve tried meditation and know it’s not your thing — or it increases rumination, which is not helpful at this time — here are some good tips on alternatives to meditation that will offer you the same serenity-enhancing benefits.
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Think positive.
This suggestion may seem like some crazy Pollyanna hogwash, but based on Richard Davidson, PhD, founder of the middle for Healthy Minds in the University of Wisconsin, Madison, it’s a powerful life skill. He lists a positive outlook along with three other traits — resilience, focus, and generosity — as skills that may markedly improve our quality of life during good times and bad. (Read more on those here.)
What does a positive outlook look like right now? There is no use minimizing the degree of the current outbreak; it is real, and social distancing is how we save lives. So try focusing on how just by staying home you're helping to save people. Revel in the good feeling of being of service, when and how you can. Connect more deeply with the loved ones you live with. Relish the possibility, at long last, to take a nap.
Finally, history shows that every virus, even the worst of them, eventually runs its course. So who do you want to be when this has ended? You get to decide. You get to build that individual, every day. And the one thing we all know — the thing that makes this moment so overwhelming but also so powerful — is that not one of us is going through this alone. Like never before, we are really, truly, in this together.
