Which part of you are you likely to hide today?
Have you ever considered the reason why you try to conceal parts of your body? Matters of decency aside, why douse that pimple inside a tub of concealer? Why give up sleeveless clothes because your arms don’t “look right”? Body negativity isn’t nearly an impassioned hatred for your self. Often, it are operating in much subtler shades, hinting at a very deep-rooted problem.
We have been told to pursue what is widely known as the ‘European standard of beauty’. The right percentage of height, weight, and complexion. Little or too less of anything. This literally seems like you were building a machine. Even cooking recipes are more forgiving for God’s sake!
Suggested read: Girlfriends Guide To – A Positive Body Image
Hating your own self may be the worst thing you could do, and may even prove to be fatal. Listed here are 9 body positivity books to modify your outlook:
1. Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy
“There’s something about swimsuits that make you think you’ve got to earn the right to wear them. And that’s wrong. Really, the criteria is simple. Do you have a body? Put a swimsuit on it.”
The protagonist Willowdean Dickson is somebody all of us aspire to be. She doesn't care about societal acceptance regarding her figure, and lives life by herself terms. Like popular teen romances, this one too includes a charming male figure whom she's attracted to. Instead of basking in his reciprocation, she falls into a pit of self-doubt. This book is all about her fight against how she sees her own body. This is the toughest fight of all, and one that all of us fight on a regular basis. The worst part about any type of discrimination happens when it seems to convince us that we’re unworthy. Murphy does a brilliant job in her realistic portrayal of the betrayal to ourselves, and just how we emerge as warriors.
2. Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook For Unapologetic Living by Jes Baker
“We become too embarrassed to get to know the friend we haven't seen in years because we might have gained weight. We sabotage relationships by thinking we're unworthy of physical affection. We hide our face whenever we have breakouts. We opt from the dance class because we're worried we'll look ridiculous. We lose out on sex positions because we're afraid we'll crush our partner with our weight. We dread family holidays because someone might say something about how exactly we look. We don't approach potential friends or lovers because we assume they'll immediately judge our appearance negatively. We try to shrink when walking in public places spaces in order to take up as little room as possible. We build our lives around the belief that we are undeserving of attention, love, and amazing opportunities, when in reality this couldn't be more wrong.”
This book speaks of inner beauty, which, contrary to popular opinion, isn’t just an ‘ugly-people-propaganda’. Baker nails the possible lack of self devotion, and self-care we have arrived at today, and breaks the vicious cycle of us constantly criticizing our very own bodies.
3. Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman by Lindy West
“I say no to people who prioritize being cool over following your rules. I say no to misogynists who want to weaponize my body against me. I only say no to men who feel entitled to my attention and reverence, who treat everything the sunshine touches as a resource to allow them to burn. I say no to religious zealots who insist that I am less important than an embryo. I only say no to my own instinct to stay quiet. It’s a way of kicking down the boundaries that society has set up for women – be compliant, be considered a caregiver, be quiet – and erecting my very own. I will do this; I will not do that. You believe in my subjugation; I don’t need to be nice to you. I am busy. My time is not a public commodity.”
I love this book particularly because it transcends the realm of the physical. Of all of the body positivity books, this one speaks greatly about what it means to be a woman. Patriarchy has generated an image of the perfect woman, and that we spend our entire lives trying to live up to that ideal. Irrespective of how sad that makes us, we chase goals that weren’t ours to begin with. We are much more than curves, cooking skills, children-producers, and that we won’t shut up about it.
4. Big Girl: How I Threw in the towel Dieting and Got A Life by Kelsey Miller
“We don’t get montages or grand finales. We simply eat dinner and do the dishes, and simply no one’s going to clap their hands about it.”
Miller compares dieting to the status of the Olympic sport, but without even half the glory. This is a realistic portrayal of somebody fighting to achieve beauty standards, but failing miserably. It speaks about Kelsey’s journey into “eating plans”, crash-diets, unhealthy food fads, disordered eating, and then her story of survival. For all of us, it serves as an eye-opener about how “health concerns” have gotten us to obsessively chase an impossible standard of glamour.
5. Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay
“In another commercial, Oprah somberly says, ‘Inside every overweight woman is a woman she knows she can be.’ This is a popular notion, the concept that the fat among us are carrying a thin woman inside. Each time this particular commercial, I think, I ate that thin woman and she was delicious but unsatisfying. And then I think about how fucked up it is to promote this idea that our truest selves are thin women hiding in our fat bodies like imposters, usurpers, illegitimates.”
Needless to say, this woman is nothing lacking a superstar. She is a motivation, and the powerhouse that brought us ‘Bad Feminist’. In this book too, she leaves no a part of patriarchy unblemished. This is a very important read for men as well, because she simplifies the thought process. In a part of the book, she writes about how cat-callers are just telling her that they do not want to f*ck her, and how their outrage comes from their confused sense of masculinity. It is life-changing on the grounds of discovering and understanding abuser-psychology. After the book, you’ll realize that the greatest abuser you could have, is yourself.
6. Things i Like About Me by Allia Zobel Nolan
“We are all different, certainly.
I’m not like you. You’re not like me.
That’s why we believe that life is great.
So come along as we celebrate.”
This is a children’s book, and also the most beautiful one at that. It includes babies from different races, with braces, unibrows, close-cropped hair, spectacles, etc. It makes people feel good about themselves, and is an essential read for all the children around you. The seeds of body positivity should be planted at the earliest age possible.
Suggested read: Probably the most Comprehensive List Of Famous Plus Size Teen Models And All You Need To Know About Them
7. The Beauty Myth: The way the Images of Beauty Are utilized Against Women by Naomi Wolf
“Men are visually aroused by women’s bodies and fewer sensitive to their arousal by women’s personalities because they are trained early into that response, while women are less visually aroused and more emotionally aroused because that is their training. This asymmetry in sexual education maintains men’s power within the myth: They look at women’s bodies, evaluate, move ahead; their own bodies are not looked at, evaluated, and taken or passed over. But there's no ‘rock called gender’ accountable for that; it can change to ensure that real mutuality–an equal gaze, equal vulnerability, equal desire–brings heterosexual men and women together.”
Naomi Wolf strings a very strong attack against how people are commonly portrayed. Be it in the perspective of the lover, or a less elusive media organization, Wolf lets nothing pass. Inside a compilation of what I call ‘uncomfortable truths’, ultimately you will learn to see the fallacies we accept every day.
8. Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight by Linda Bacon
“You only have one body and despite how well you live your life, it may never change. Can you afford to hate yourself throughout your life?”
This book is essential in debunking the myth of a body type being unhealthy. There are several factors that go into determining the state of our vital statistics. Often, our “well-wishers” and popular media push us towards what they think is the ‘optimum size’, around the pretext of us being ‘too fat’, or ‘too thin’. Truth is, they have no idea. Thankfully, after this book, you will be educated enough to prevent judging yourself by false parameters of health.
9. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell
“Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”
This book is particularly near to my heart because it does absolutely nothing to hide ‘imperfection’. Eleanor is ‘fat’, and ‘too big’. Park isn't the most masculine guy in high school. They both find each other special, and keep wondering why they find reciprocation. It’s an imperfect story of love, acceptance, and how it all leads to something to beautifully realistic. I love Rowell for not choosing stereotypical characters for these roles. It only goes on to reveal that irrespective of your body type, you’re the protagonist of your own story. So, make it a great one.
Suggested read: 12 Kinds of Body Shaming Behaviors That Need To End – NOW
I hope these body positivity books pulls you out of trouble of the corner you’ve shut yourself in. To any or all the lovely people who have been body-shamed, remember that if someone’s judging criteria is limited to pre-historic standards, then the issue is not with you. Most people who spew hatred are fighting a war inside their own mind. Ignore them, take pleasure in the sheer glory that you're, and take care of yourself. You’re worth it.
