I'll be honest – my dad isn't the loving type. He's around, sure, but his way of showing he cares is telling me to take better care of my car. I never stopped to consider how my relationship with my dad impacts me today (or ever). That's, until now.
Researchers now claim that poor-quality fathers, not only completely missing ones, negatively impact adult relationships for their daughters.
A team at Pennsylvania State University recruited over 200 pairs of sisters to accomplish a study. The team analyzed how paternal behavior and paternal absence impacted the daughters' development. With this study, each pair needed to be born at least 4 years apart, and be children of divorce where the father left sometime before the younger daughter turned 14. This setup allowed researchers to compare how each sister approached adult relationships. The only real variable was the contact with the father.
The researchers determined that older sisters who have been exposed to poor-quality fathers (especially those who were violent or struggled with mental illnesses or addictions) held lower expectations for his or her male partners. These sisters were more prone to have more sexual partners and fewer fulfilling relationships. Comparisons from the mother's behaviors showed no correlations in any of the sister pairs or between different sets of sisters, nor did the number of years fathers missing from younger siblings' lives.
“It appears the father's behaviour while in the home instead of his absence from the home has the strongest influence on his daughter's sexual behaviour,” they concluded.
When therapists asked about my father, I'd always say, “Eh, he's nice enough I guess and around. We just don't ever really talk and he's never really expressed interest in me. But it's fine.” However, this research raises some questions when i analyze my current life and my past.
Would I've been less likely to accept verbal and sexual abuse from men during middle and high school if I saw my father in a different light? Maybe I’d be less prepared to give more of myself basically felt more loved during my childhood? Would I be less dismissive of my husband's behaviors if I'd seen something different while I grew up?
I remember watching my dad attend baseball and football games my brothers played, yet seats were empty inside my band concerts and theatrical productions. He sat in the recliner after work each evening, drinking a few beers and watching TV as i asked if he may help with my Algebra homework. My brothers learned they are driving stick shifts with dad as they refused to ride in the vehicle if I climbed in the driver's seat. My friends frequently shared stories of fun Daddy-Daughter dates, however i could never contribute to the conversation. Shockingly, he actually walked me down the aisle and gave me away at my wedding.
As a mother myself, Personally i think this research is vitally important not just to me, but for my daughters, too.
All women need this information. The more we understand about ourselves and what influences our behaviors, the greater we can protect ourselves and discover happiness. As we prepare to go in relationships, birth our own children, or become loving aunts, we have to know how fathers uniquely impact their daughters. We need to arm ourselves so that we can break cycles that harm us.
Obviously, like any psychological research, this study has some limiting factors. For starters, researchers collected all information through self-reports. Also, there are potentially additional variables that researchers did not account for during this study. However, this study is the first of its kind. It’s definitely a great start to understanding just how much a father’s behavior directly impacts a daughter’s future relationships. Personally, Personally i think this information is invaluable, and I aspire to use it to continue to work towards self-improvement.
