Sometimes, we say things that we don't necessarily mean.
We get frustrated: we say things we do not mean.
We are being sarcastic or attempting to tell a joke: we say things we do not mean.
We are tired, we are hungry, we are fighting, we are human: we say things we don't mean.
Sometimes things come off the wrong way, even when we don't intend for them to. We twist our words and let words slip out that shouldn't, but there's no repeats or take-backs. We simply learn from them.
So why should using the r-word be different, right? WRONG.
Pick up a dictionary and appear up the term “retarded”. According to Merriam-Webster, this means “slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development or academic progress.” Now, look up the word stupid: “marked by or resulting from unreasoned thinking or acting; senseless.” Just how can people possibly use these two words in place of one another?
Just a few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a close friend/co-worker, which person used the word in this way: “That's so retarded, I don't get that.” The negative connotation and perception linked to the word retarded is something that has exploded with this particular generation, and I don't quite understand it. People may not think that the word carries any more weight than using “stupid” instead, but it does. Here's why:
What do you consider the word “retarded” means to the people have a mental or emotional disability when you use it in a derogatory manner? It means you are consciously using the word to describe something undesirable. It means you're consciously using the offensive slur to explain something stupid, dumb, idiotic, unfavorable, offensive, and unintelligent. This means you are choosing to use the former rather than the latter because you think it'll have a stronger effect. And it does to the people who hear it used by doing this and feel belittled, excluded, alienated, insulted, and ashamed.
In 2010, President barack obama passed Rosa's Law, eliminating using the word “retarded” or “retard” in any federal health, education, and labor laws. Kudos to you, Obama. Not two years later, he was at the receiving end of Ann Coulter's tweets, directly calling him a retard and saying whatever room he was in was a retarded room. A Special Olympics athlete, John Franklin Stephens, wrote a letter to Coulter saying that she “isn't dumb and isn't shallow. So why are you continuing to use the r-word as an insult?”
I covered this story/topic attending college upon the incident being reported by ABCNews.com, also it changed how I see the utilisation of the r-word. I haven't used it in a derogatory fashion since, and that i can't stand it when people do. You aren't affected by it until it affects you. Consider it: how many people do you know with autism, a speech impediment, Down Syndrome, or any other physical or mental disability? How many friends, family members, coworkers, or acquaintances do you know that are or have been affected by the word? It's not something loved ones, let alone those people themselves, appreciate hearing. We know you aren't using it maliciously. You just use it to replace the word “stupid” or “undesirable,” and that is not okay.
Imagine this: Suppose we lived in a world where racism was uncommon and frowned upon when it occurred (shocking, I know). Imagine that individuals with any type of cognitive or physical disability were of the different race. For example's sake, let's use the color purple. Now imagine, like several the racism issues the world has seen in recent years again, that somebody walked past an individual with a disability in a large crowd of others and shouted a racial slur involving that person's skin color (purple). Imagine that an entire group of people worldwide who did not choose to be born with a cognitive or physical disability was singled out like a separate race. Can you still use “retarded” in a flippant and derogatory fashion?
How difficult could it be to just say stupid as opposed to using retarded? If you want to count syllables, there are just three in retarded. Adults use it in company as a replacement word. Children hear it and think it is okay, too. The west has become so wrapped up in hateful words, using foul language, and discrimination that some don't know any better. It's time to change that.
I work with a company that allows young women with physical and mental disabilities the opportunity to attend national conventions and participate in a pageant to showcase their talents, skills, and personality. Additionally they get to meet new people, often people like themselves who may face exactly the same struggles on a day-to-day basis. These women, who are led by a strong number of volunteers that wouldn't think twice about using the r-word in a derogatory fashion, are some of the most inspirational people That i have ever met. One of my best friends has a brother with Down Syndrome. The son of my former coworker has cerebral palsy. One of the guys on my high school cross-country team has a form of autism called Asperger's. My childhood best friend's little brother passed away from a physical nerve disorder that made it almost impossible for him to physically live, move, as well as breathe on his own. My college best friend's brother continues to be hospitalized multiple times with autism and MS complications.
How can you feel if people picked you apart for the incapabilities, behavior, and way of living just through how they speak? How would you feel if people constantly pity you for something can’t do rather than concentrate on the things you can do that maybe others can’t? We mindlessly use words and descriptions to classify something as stupid or idiotic much more reality, we are referencing a group of people that look at life a little differently, not based on their incapabilities but on the world in which the things they can do and can achieve mean everything.
It matters to individuals who it affects. It matters to folks around them. It matters that people change how we think and just how we speak when it comes to the r-word. Take the pledge with me and spread the word to end the word. As human beings, we can do better. Much better.
